4 Questions To Find Out Prior To Deciding To
Can you be sure when you’ve met the right one to marry? The majority of us ask this question at some point in our lives; however, there aren’t a lot who obtain a concrete answer. However, gnorimies if you are scanning this article, then you are one of a select few.
Oddly enough, the criteria for choosing a spouse could be reduced to simply four key characteristics. If you’re able to find somebody with all four then it is highly likely that you’ve found your lifetime partner.
What’s this person’s core values? Before you decide to marry someone, ensure that they are fully committed to some type of objective moral and ethical standard. Whether we realize it or not, all of us have some kind of core value that’s gnorimies central to our personality. So when push comes to shove, that value will probably be the most important thing in the world to you.
For instance: Darrell’s core value is adventure. When Darrell starts to date Heather, he happens to be volunteering in the local ER. He goes there every evening, holds people’s hands, calms them down. And Heather is thinking to herself that Darrell should have a heart of gold if this is how he’s spending his free time. Now, Darrell might genuinely have a heart of gold. But he’s volunteering due to his love for adventure. The ER is filled with action, it’s exciting. So right now, Darrell’s adventurousness happens to be expressing itself in a kind way. But that may change. Darrell might stop volunteering, and start trying other adventures that Heather may find unpleasant, dangerous, as well as unethical.
Even so, if Darrell’s core value is really a resolve for goodness and caring, then everything he does will rotate around that, including his marriage. And Heather would be a very lucky woman if she marries him.
Just how do you get to be aware of true Darrell? Surprisingly, it isn’t that difficult. Regardless of what a person’s core value is, you will see her or him sacrificing for this every day. If Darrell’s core value is adventure, he then might risk any sort of accident to be able to speed through an intersection or arrive late at work because he followed a police chase. If Heather follows him carefully, she’ll see that he places adventure above other important things on his listing of priorities. But when Darrell’s core value is goodness, then Heather will see him give up certain things to become kind. If the waiter mixes up his order, he’ll say thank you and consume the dish anyway. He’ll let another guy cross the intersection first, or he might be late to work while he drove a little old lady home with her groceries. If Heather follows him carefully, then she’ll see him let go of some of his own desires so as to deal with other people.
And so search for somebody who is committed at the core to a higher group of values that you can appreciate.
Not surprisingly you want to marry someone who is going to take care of you and treat you well. How can you decipher it out? Simple. Spend time with this person, and focus on how they treat others whom they do not necessarily care about because they are not attempting to charm them. Will they thank the attendant who pumped gas on their behalf? Are they courteous to people at checkout counters? Do they curse out individuals who don’t deliver on time, like telephone operators or overworked waitresses? Do they tend to drive aggressively, as though there’s nobody else on the highway?
Think about questions such as these and take note of the answers – because they reflect characteristics that will come out down the line. Many people don’t guard themselves so carefully that they’re going to hide the way that they treat others. So watch them, and you will understand how they will treat you after you are married. Will you communicate well with one another? In other words, make sure that you understand one another. This might seem obvious, however it’s not.
Sometimes you can see a couple in a fight and they argue for an hour, two hours, maybe even overnight. And then, at the end of round 16, apparently , the whole thing was only a misunderstanding: «Oh, I thought you meant that…That’s not what you meant? Oh yea, then we agree.»
Despite the fact that on an occasional basis this can happen to anyone, if it’s happening constantly then it is not a good sign because that might not change. If you’re constantly misunderstanding each other, then you might want to put this relationship on hold for a while.
Okay, are you physically attracted to each other? Physical attraction is an essential part of marriage. You cannot marry someone if you aren’t physically drawn to them. And while men arrive at this conclusion somewhat quickly, women should give themselves some more time. Very often, a female may not feel drawn to a guy initially, but after she comes to know him she finds him a lot more attractive than before.
A word of caution: Although physical attraction is important, you can’t base a marriage on physicality. Whatever is being conducted physically is meant to be an expression of something deep that’s happening on the emotional and spiritual level. The rule is – ensure that physical attraction is there, but do not get swept away by it. The other three characteristics are simply as important, or even more so.
That’s it. The next time you date somebody, put what you have discovered right here into practice. It’ll save you considerable time and heartache, and you might find yourself walking down the aisle quicker than you believe.